Adversity will test you, but it does not have to break you. The strongest leaders and performers use hardship as a force to push through, rather than allowing it to push them down.
“The world breaks everyone, and afterward, some are strong at the broken places.” —Ernest Hemingway
Judgment
When pressure mounts, most people react in one of two ways—they either collapse under the weight or find a way to push forward. Those who break down let difficulties define them, while those who break through use obstacles as leverage for growth.
The difference between the two outcomes is mindset. Those who expect struggle and train their resilience treat each setback as a proving ground rather than a stopping point. Strength is built not by avoiding difficulty but by facing it head-on and emerging stronger on the other side.
As a coach, your role is to help clients cultivate a mindset that turns challenges into opportunities, ensuring they break through barriers rather than being crushed by them.
Example: Angela Lee Duckworth: The Power of Grit
Psychologist Angela Lee Duckworth’s research on grit reveals why some people succeed while others falter. Through extensive studies across diverse fields—including West Point cadets, spelling bee champions, and corporate professionals—she found that talent and intelligence alone do not determine success—perseverance and resilience do. One of her most striking discoveries was that West Point cadets who scored higher on the “Grit Scale” were more likely to complete rigorous military training than those with superior academic records. This finding shattered the conventional belief that intellect and skill alone guarantee achievement. Those who push forward, rather than breaking down in the face of failure, ultimately achieve their long-term goals, proving that determination is a stronger predictor of success than natural ability.
Her research proves that breakthroughs are not about avoiding hardship but about enduring it with determination.
The Strategy
- Reframe Struggles as Strength Builders: Teach clients that every challenge is a chance to develop resilience.
- Master Emotional Endurance: Help individuals regulate their emotions so stress and frustration do not lead to breakdowns.
- Build Grit Through Repeated Effort: Encourage consistent action, even when progress is slow or setbacks occur.
- Use Setbacks as Feedback: Failure is not the end—it is data that helps refine strategies for success.
- Develop a Breakthrough Mindset: Train clients to approach adversity with the expectation that they will push through, not break down.
Warning
Breaking through requires effort and endurance, but ignoring warning signs of burnout can lead to long-term damage. Resilience is about strength, not self-destruction—knowing when to persist and when to rest is key.
Reversal
While perseverance is essential, blind persistence in a failing strategy can lead to unnecessary hardship. The strongest leaders know when to adjust their approach rather than forcing a breakthrough in the wrong direction.
“The oak fought the wind and was broken, the willow bent and survived.” —Robert Jordan
In Summary: Hardship is inevitable, but how one responds to it determines their path. By teaching clients to build resilience, adapt under pressure, and push forward with purpose, you equip them to break through rather than break down. Strength is not found in avoiding struggle but in overcoming it.
Taken from my forthcoming book ‘The 365 Laws of Performance Coaching.’
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© Ben Benson
Ben Benson 
March 13, 2025 
